SPOILER ALERT? I suppose so. Why haven't you seen these movies yet? What's wrong with you? Just kidding, if you haven't seen these films yet, it's fine. Who am I to judge cave living?
Aladdin: The nice kind Sultan who accepts fake royalty as a son-in-law still rules over Agrabah, a [city-state?] where many people live in abject poverty. Nothing is done about this in the movie, the sequels AND the TV show. And the Sultan still lets someone who wormed his way into the palace through deception marry his only daughter. And while we're on that subject, ONLY DAUGHTER??? That is a truly unique Sultan who doesn't have a host of wives and concubines and daughters to spare in case someone dies from something that's easily curable in the 21st century.
Big Hero 6: All of Hiro's adult college student friends don't take much convincing to be okay with child endangerment. It even gets FUNDED by Fred! EVERYONE should be arrested at the end of the movie.
Random person: Everyone?
Also, Baymax never fulfills his purpose of being a nurse-bot. Hiro just takes a big ol' whiz on his brother's grave.
Pocahontas: Grandmother Willow is clearly the victim of a terrible curse, and no one's lifting a finger to try to resolve it. Sing with all the colors of GETTING ME THE HECK OUT OF THIS TREE!
Snow White and Sleeping Beauty: in which the handsome prince is not so much the love of the heroine's life as he is a resuscitation apparatus. Just a human defibrillator, really. The kingdom always keeps some princes handy in case some noblewoman passes out. Is that more impersonal than Cinderella, where the prince is Cindy's ticket out of servitude? A dance and a shoe fitting. That is their relationship before MARRIAGE. Especially hilarious when you consider that the prince is presented as somewhat...picky? And then he sees Cinderella and suddenly love--or she was just hotter than the other bachelorettes. And if that was love at first sight, how come he needs the slipper? Can't he recognize the face of the woman he wants to marry? My shoe size is nine-and-a-half. And so is a lot of people's! More than one woman could fit that slipper. "I can't recognize your face because your clothes are different. But try this shoe on." Truly meant to be.
Sleeping Beauty again--I'm not done with you: Aurora is story ballast. One of the reasons why I love the Maleficent movie is that it's even MORE about the fairies and even less about Aurora than the original cartoon. Aurora is boring and useless. The entire story of Sleeping Beauty (the Disney version at any rate; not the real story where Aurora gets RAPED IN HER SLEEP) minus the fairies is a great big snoozefest--pun most certainly intended.
Okay, got that off my chest. Felt good. NEXT VICTIM!
The helicopter instructor bit from Inside Out grates on me just a tad. Whenever Mom gets frustrated with Dad, Mom's emotions calm themselves down by remembering what might have been with a previous beau. Somehow that flies as an okay joke, but if we flip that--"To think I could've been with that busty supermodel."--and then Dad's emotions bring up a picture of Veronica in all her bikini-clad glory, the dad would cease to be any semblance of a sympathetic character. So now the kids in the audience know that whenever Mom gives Dad "that look," that's what's going on in her head. The kids also know the true horror of sentient volcanoes.
Average garden ant lifespan: 15 years. RIP Flik...
That one was a bit dark. How about this next one...
Rapunzel does not lose her miraculous healing powers when her hair is cut. Flynn is saved by one of Rapunzel's tears--and by "saved" I mean RESURRECTED. As in, from the dead. Rapunzel can bring dead people back to life. This could be somewhat important to the people of Corona. And possibly Earth. Is there more than one of that special flower? How does it work? If finding these things out isn't priority one (after all the hugging and being glad that their daughter is still alive) it's only because Rapunzel didn't mention it. And then we have another problem.
I imagine a fast-forward in which Corona is like the world of In Time, where no one ages past the age of twenty-five. There's just a constant murmur of everyone sporadically singing "flower gleam and glow" for anything from headaches to severed arms.
Elsa the Snow Goddess: she can create sentient life with minimal effort. Much like Rapunzel's healing powers, no one in-universe is losing their crap to the extent that they ought. The Arendelle Snow Army. Olaf could be part of a race. He actually is, if you count Marshmallow. A two-person species. And perhaps using her ability to design and manifest an architecturally sound ice palace with pure thought could be used for housing for the poor or bridges or ships. "But they'll all melt!" you say. "But you didn't watch the movie!" I say. Elsa can create mini-ecosystems over all her creations. FACT. *pushes up spectacles*
Brave is like a reverse Emperor's New Groove, with everyone else being turned into an animal to teach the protagonist a lesson. Or is that an inversion? *shakes fist at sky* TV TROOOOOOPES!
Whew! That was fun. As you may have already guessed, I'm a fan of Disney/Pixar animation and my nitpicking is not borne of actual rage. Also that last one wasn't so much a nitpick as an observation that I thought I'd share because I find it clever and require validation from others. Maybe I missed some other glaring things from these movies, or maybe I left them out intentionally to create a lively comments section? Clever, eh? Still require validation.
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