Haven "Chosen" Episode Review

That awkward moment when you discover that your girlfriend is a thousand-year-old alien and the mom of one of your work friends.  Poor Dwight.  Well, they'll always have the hospital storage room.

Totally called it on the whole "Charlotte fixing Mara's whoopsies" thing, although they kinda telegraphed it with her CDC cover.  I'll give myself one pat on the back for my insight.  And in case you weren't satisfied with just one plot point lifted from Star Trek, Mara and Audrey had to be smooshed back together like Kirk in "The Enemy Within."  Is this a setup for the introduction of William Shatner into the series?

Gotta love the technicality of the "if Mara dies" clause.  Reminds me of the "certain point of view" caveat from Star Wars.  We've got our fully reconstituted Audrey back, but the Duke-bomb went off anyway and released a whole other season's worth of troubles into the world.  And if the ones he leaked out before he erupted are any indication (EXPLODY TOUCH), lots of fun post-break mayhem will ensue--maybe even enough to finally get on all the social media that exists in the twenty-first century.  I mean seriously, what is up with Haven's teenagers?  I'm guessing no one's gonna update their Facebook status to "glad to be out of that boat we were magically trapped in."  The Guard may be good at damage control, but they can't do an end-run on every kid's iPhone.  For every large-scale trouble Audrey and the Audreyettes have solved, there should be someone in the background yelling out "WORLDSTAR!  WORLDSTAR!"  Anyway...

Vince and Dave's excellent adventure leads them to a rock carved with the word "Croatoan" recently carved into it.  As we all know, Haven takes place in the Kingiverse and we've already seen references to King's other works, but they've usually been subtle.  An appearance by Linoge from Storm of the Century would be a much bigger deal, and probably not up the show's alley.  Plus, they'd have some serious retconning to do; the backstory of Haven's Roanoke mystery is a departure from the weird-demon-guy-comes-and-takes-kid-or-destroys-whole-town-if-they-refuse plot of the other story.  So what is Dave? And what is the thingamajig that he picked up from the cave?  Perhaps it is a creature from the Void itself, one of the many reasons why the Otherworlders don't hold truck with gallivanting back and forth.  I eagerly await the answers to some of these questions--but not all of them, as mystery is part of what makes Haven tick.

RANDOM THOUGHTS:

How cool was Mara's tipsy rant in the car?  She was a very bad lady, but she will be missed.

I would like to see a Veronica flashback, please.

On Bewitched, a witch couldn't undo a spell made by another witch.  I sense a similar thing in effect here, as a being powerful enough to slam two people into one seems flummoxed by the Troubles.  However, Mara is portrayed as kind of an innovator in aether science, and a people that eschews trans-world travel might have a bit of trouble wrapping their heads around Mara's accomplishments.


Havest thou a theory regarding any of these fine topics?  Leave a comment in my web zone if you want a pizza roll--wait, that's that other guy...



  

Haven "Chemistry" Episode Review

***YARR, MATEYS!  THERE BE SPOILERS AHEAD!  SLAW SOME CHUTNEY OFF THE PORT BOW AND oh, who am I kidding, I don't know pirate lingo just read ahead***

So, um, yep.  Turns out Mara's evil.  Last Friday's episode "revealed" that with her startling bathtub confession: "Hey Duke, remember how I was introduced as a manipulative, evil sea hag who only sees human beings as guinea pigs?  Well guess what, baby?  I AM STILL THAT."

Cue the audience slow-clapping as Duke clutches his chest in horror at his completely expected betrayal.  A bit disappointing for me, mostly because it totally derails my "Duke and Mara hunt for aether" story arc that could have fleshed Mara out as a complex character with conflicting emotions.  Don't get me wrong; it's SUPER fun to watch Emily Rose use her Bambi eyes for evil, but I see a ton of potential for this character, given that she's the source of all Haven's woes.  Someone who has invested centuries of life into creating the Troubles should have a bit more to her than "Wouldn't it be cool if lasers came out this chick?  AH NEEDS MAH GOO BALLS!"  I think the creative team is banking on the layer-by-layer reveal of Mara's Actual Plan making up for her one-dimensional villainy.  That, and the intriguing details of Haven's history and what Mara, William and Dave are. [Author takes a few moments to reminisce on his "Audrey is an angel" theory from seasons past.] 

The expected betrayal, expected though it may be, does not come without earth-shattering plot relevance.  Apparently, gaining Duke's trust, sleeping with him, staging her own kidnapping--including going the full LeBeouf and cutting off her own toe for realism--getting Duke to kill Kirk, absorb Kirk's trouble and then give it to someone else before finding out over the phone (how rude) that his new girlfriend was just using him is the exact recipe to turn Duke's Chernobyl-esque Barrel o' Troubles into an aether vending machine.  Duke cries aether now, which is another thing he can stick on his OkCupid profile and add to his fixer-upper charm.  

Last but not least, we get a very cool and extremely not-obvious reveal in this episode: Charlotte is Mara's mommy!  In the words of Hermes Conrad, "Dot just raises further questions!"  Where has she been all this time?  Is she an Evil Experimenter like her daughter?  Where has she been all this time?  Can she use Duke's aether secretions to end the Troubles?  Where has she been all this time?  I feel like I'm repeating myself here.  I'm guessing she's either been scouring the globe in search of Mara or she has just recently entered this world through a thinny.  Part of me wants to see a Star Trek-style ending where Charlotte grabs Mara by the ear and drags her back to the Other Side.  "Now you clean up these Troubles right now, young lady!"  While it might not play out like that, it seems like Charlotte's character might go in that direction--an Othersider who has the knowledge and ability to undo Mara and William's mess and possibly put Mara in the Phantom Zone for breaking the No Meddling with Humans Rule or something like that.  Aether way (sorry), watching how this new development plays out should be interesting.  It should also make for some hilariously awkward dinner table discussions between Charlotte, Dwight, Nathan and Audrey.

Good riddance, Eureka, now time for more ghosts and rasslin'!

Apparently, Eureka is being canceled. Of all the shows in SyFy's highly questionable lineup, Eureka and Alphas (whoops, I called it out, now it'll get the axe too) are the only two science fiction shows amid its original offerings (Enterprise reruns don't count). Everything else is fantasy (Warehouse 13 and Haven), some kind of quasi-fantasy science-ish thing (Sanctuary) and of course, the kajillion reality shows (do we really need a Ghost Hunters AND a Ghost Hunters International?). AND DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON THE SYFY ORIGINAL MOVIES. It is my theory that their movie development staff is broken up into the "A Team" (Tin Man, The Lost Room) and the "B Squad" (Boa vs. Python vs. Aardvark).

Now, I like the fantasy stuff and I even watch one or two of the reality shows, but you would think that a channel called "SyFy" with so little "Sci-fi" would hold onto whatever it had. Forgive me if I have a little trouble "imagining greater" when they kick all their best stuff to the curb. Actually, all I can do is imagine how the channel could be greater. As I said, I'm no sci-fi snob; I would accept any kind of fantastical scripted entertainment (definitely looking forward to Neverland from my beloved "A Team"), as long as it was well-done (i.e. not Black Scorpion--although even that was preferable to WWE) and could actually stay on for a decent amount of time. I can picture an "In Memoriam" montage similar to the one the Oscars does, except for dead Sci-Fi Channel shows instead of deceased movie people. A moment of silence, if you will...

The Invisible Man

The Secret Adventures of Jules Verne

Lexx

Farscape (This would be like the actor that gets the loudest cheer during the montage)

Why, dang it, why? Rifftrax just doesn't fill the void.

I know this one doesn't actually count as having been created by the Sci-Fi Channel, but like Sliders, it was picked up and they made new episodes. Either way...WHY????

I didn't forget about First Wave...I just found it kind of boring. That having been said, I would take it. I would take a re-boot of a show that bored me to tears over Monster Finders Transcontinental or whatever abomination they're planning to replace Eureka with.

Sure, SyFy...by all means, cancel one of your best shows. I'm getting Carnivale flashbacks (but I'll gripe about that injustice in another post).